Friday, January 31, 2014

January 31, 2014

     Good morning. Wow my face hurts this morning. I am so tired of this sinus infection. The pain is in a different spot on my face now then it was so I hope that means that it is getting better.
     Ms. M has been a wonderful addition to our lives. I can see a difference in Mom when Ms. M is here with her. Yesterday I asked her to cut Mom's nails and she did plus painted them and put make up on her and I must say Mom looked beautiful.  She seemed to have a happy glow. We sat at the table and talked and Mom joined in, in her way, and laughed and was almost like her old self. When I said, "Mom you look very pretty." she got a big smile on her face, I haven't seen that smile in a while. I wish that Mom and I could hang out and have a girlfriend type of relationship but I seem to be so short tempered and short on patience and stressed and busy and excuse after excuse. I know there are areas where I should work on being a better daughter and caregiver to Mom. But for now I am just glad I have help that can provide some of those things that I wish I could but just can't seem to do. I provide health and safety, I just don't do well providing fun and friendship. Ms. M is not just here to provide me with a break but probably more importantly she is here to provide friendship to Mom.
     Mom and I both received cards from Aunt E. Mom got a cute get well soon card with a kitten on it. And I got a thank you card, a thank you for taking good care of my sister. That was so sweet of her and it means so much to me. I do try very hard to do the best that I can for Mom and it is nice to hear that someone else can see what I am doing and is pleased. I never was good with cards, do I send a thank you card for a thank you card?
     I need to go get this day started. Have a good day.

                                                          April Whitehair

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

January 29, 2014

     Good morning. Yeah, my helper comes today. I am so happy to have relief. I don't have any plans for today except cleaning and probably taking a nap. Yesterday I had to go back to the doctor because of this sinus infection that I just can't seem to kill. New antibiotics and steroids started. I hope this works.
     While at the doctors yesterday I finally decided to ask for help with this depression I have been dealing with. My family has been telling be to go see a doctor about it since around October but I just didn't want to go and be put on drugs. I figure it is just some type of seasonal depression, a lot of my family deals with this. So anyway I decided to talk to the doctor and I had to do an assessment to see if my issues were anxiety or depression or both. The doctor said it seems like I am just depressed and understandably because of all I have to do and deal with at home with Mom. I was given a prescription for an antidepressant, I hope it works and I can get out of this funk that I am in. I want to say to anyone who is having depression issues please just go talk to a doctor, it was easy and painless and it just may save your life if your depression gets to bad. Also I don't have a family doctor that I go see on a regular basis. I went to one of those quick care clinic places and I had thought that the doctor there would tell me that I needed to get a regular doctor to be prescribed an antidepressant but I was wrong. I can go there and be treated and get the medication that I need. So no more excuses all you depressed people, go get some help.
     I need to go get this day started. Have a good day.

                                   April Whitehair

Monday, January 27, 2014

January 27, 2014

     Good morning. I think I may have come to the point of acceptance of this never ending winter. I know there is nothing I can do about it so I must just accept it. I don't mind the snow or the cold, it is just the bad roads that get to me. I did get to get out of this house on Friday. My husband stayed here and looked after Mom so I could go to town. Even though I just went to the dollar store and the drug store and was gone under 2 hours it was just what I needed to re-energize myself.
     I am sure that I still have that sinus infection that I went to the doctor for earlier in the month. I have a call in to the doctor's office to see if they will call me in a different antibiotic or if I will need to go back in to see the doctor again. I hope they just call in a different antibiotic, I can send my husband to pick those up, but if I have to go see the doctor I will have to wait till the roads get better and I have someone here to keep an eye on Mom. I hope they call me back soon.
     Not much is going on here. Winter is a slow and boring time. I just want to go outside and sit in the sun, absorb some sun rays.  Walk barefoot through the grass. Smell the lilacs in the back yard. Get dirt under my fingernails while planting something, anything. Read my Bible while swinging on the front porch swing. Hang clothes on the line to dry in the sun. And most of all I just want to complain that it is way to hot instead of way to cold.
     Have a good day.

                                                      April Whitehair

Friday, January 24, 2014

January 24, 2014

     Good morning. Yes, I have cabin fever but that is going to change today. School is closed again so my helper is unable to come be with Mom so I am going to let my wonderful husband look after her while I go. I will get her up and eating breakfast then I am leaving. She isn't that difficult to take care of since she doesn't try to get up and walk by her self anymore. She will eat then he will put her in her recliner watching tv and he can rest or take a nap, he has to work tonight.
     This hollow road is still covered in snow. It snowed on Monday and the state road didn't do anything to it till yesterday. And what did they do? They cindered then an hour later they plowed. That didn't make any sense to me. Why would they plow up the cinders? Anyway I am going to attempt to drive out of here. I hate driving on bad roads but I know that the main roads are a lot clearer, I just got to get to them.
     I keep thinking about tulips. I planted several bulbs in the fall which added to the many that I planted the past two falls, I will have a lot of beautiful signs of spring poking their head up in a month or two. I can't wait. They are my favorite flower and the only nonedible plant that I grow.
     I need to get off here and get the day started. Have a good day.

                                                                      April Whitehair

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

January 22, 2014

     Good morning. Snow, snow go away! I am starting to feel trapped by all this snow. I really need to get out of this house. Either the roads are to bad for me to feel comfortable to drive or school is closed so my helper can't come. It feels like winter is plotting against me.
     I have been trying to do and think of things other than the evil winter. Last  year we repainted the living room and I was so pleased with it that I decided that every year, winter, we would redo a room. This year I have been deciding between the bathroom and the kitchen. Both need help badly. But I think I have decided on working on the kitchen. Now to actually do what I want to do to change things up a bit I need to go to the store and look around. So yet again I am stuck. I am just in the planning stage and I have so many ideas. I know my poor husband is a little worried what I am going to get him into.
     Mom's twin sister called to check in on how Mom is doing. She and her daughter stopped by the other day and seeing Mom in her decreased mental state is extremely difficult for her. Mom did not know who her twin sister was. I did feel love and support from both my aunt and cousin, which came on a day that it was much needed.
     I am going to go get this cold day started. Have a good day.

                                                         April Whitehair

Monday, January 20, 2014

January 20, 2014

     Good morning. It is still cold and snowy. I am so ready for spring. I don't like to drive when the roads are even slightly bad. I use to not mind driving in bad conditions but I think the older I get the more fear I have with driving. But I am going to get out of this hollow today! I know that the regular roads are probably clear, it is just this country road that is still covered with snow. No helper today because schools are closed due to the holiday. Tomorrow we are suppose to get more snow so I doubt I will want to go anywhere then when I have someone here so I will let my husband hang out here with Mom today and I will get out of here. Probably just a trip to the dollar store but really seeing anything other than the inside of this house is much needed.
     Mom seems to be having more issues every day. Now getting her to eat has become more difficult. I can see that soon we will have to feed her. I hate this progression of the disease. I just want my mommy back!
     I think my husband is getting a sinus infection like I had. I keep telling him to go see a doctor to get antibiotics but he is like me, he just keeps putting it off. He likes to go to the doctor just about as much as I do. I hope his doesn't get as bad as mine.
     I need to go get this day started. Have a good day.

                                                       April Whitehair

Friday, January 17, 2014

January 17, 2014

     Good morning. It is a very snowy morning. I seem to live in constant anticipation for spring. I have so many plans for the garden and can't wait to get started. I will be starting some seeds inside here in about a month or so but I don't think I will have enough room for all the seed trays. I will need to be creative on where and how I start things.
     There has been a change in the helpers that come and take care of Mom. Cousin T has decided to move on an no longer works here. Ms. M is still coming three days a week. I am so grateful to have help. Though Mom isn't physically hard to take care of, it is emotionally and mentally hard on me. I am glad to have the opportunity to help a friend the is in need of a job and I am glad to have a friend that understands my stress and need of a helping hand.
     My husband and I are going to go eat breakfast somewhere this morning if I ever get ready to leave. So I need to go. Have a good day.

                                                               April Whitehair

Monday, January 13, 2014

January 13, 2014

     Good morning. Well the other day I went to the doctor finally for this sinus infection that I have had since before new years. I got antibiotics and steroids. I so hope they work and I get over this very soon. My face and head hurts so bad. I hate going to the doctor and I fought going for as long as I could, maybe I should have went earlier and maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad.
     I got more seeds in the mail the other day from the seed of the month club that I am in. I got Coriander, Cucumber, Blue Flax, and Cauliflower. I will have to do some research on the flax I don't know very much about it, I have heard of flax seed, I wonder if I grow it just for the seed but they also have a very pretty light purple flower shown on the seed packet.
     I forgot to tell you about a complaint I have found with my new washer. Always with the old washer when there was a possible power outage I would fill the washer with water so I could have extra water for cleaning and flushing the toilet and stuff. Well this new one won't hold water for longer than ten minutes with out you starting the cycle, it will automatically drain. Why would it do that? It is a new feature on new washers. Who would have thought that that is a good idea? Not me.
     I need to get off here and get something done today. Have a good day.

                                                                April Whitehair

Friday, January 10, 2014

January 10, 2014

     Good morning. Ms. M is here. She is the friend that I hired to help me with Mom. She started yesterday and Mom seems to like her. They seem to get along well and talk well together. I am so happy to have more help.
      My husband and I went out to the grocery store yesterday and stopped and ate at Wendy's. I had seen the commercial for their spicy chipotle cheeseburger and wanted to try it so bad. I love spicy foods. I did not like that cheeseburger one bit. The chipotle sauce was not good at all. They also did something different with the side salad, there was way to much lettuce. When I opened the container the salad kind of exploded all over the place, me, the table, and the floor. Not cool at all. I hope the next time I stop at Wendy's it is a better experience because I have always liked eating there and their prices are good. I would hate to stop going there all together.
     I have been trying out my new dehydrator some lately. I had never dehydrated anything before so this is all new to me. So far I have done marshmallows (thing Lucky Charms), pineapples, applesauce fruit roll ups, and now beef jerky is in there. So far the things I have dehydrated are ok not great but ok, I hope the more I work at it the better I get.
     I need to go. Have a good day.

                                                      April Whitehair

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

January 8, 2014

     Good morning. I am so sleepy. I just can't sleep at night even if I take a sleeping pill. But now I probably could sleep and I just might. Cousin T is here to look after Mom so I can do what ever I want. My husband went to Walmart this morning and wanted me to go with him but I am not leaving this house till it warms up some. It is still so cold out and I hate being out in the cold. Tomorrow is suppose to be warmer so I may go somewhere then.
     Mom seems to be declining more and more each day. But what is strange is that she will do things for cousin T that she won't do for me. She won't stand, turn, or walk for me anymore but she will for cousin T. It is frustrating because I know she can do it. Getting her to take her medicine is a different story though, she won't take it for anyone. We have to now crush the pills and put them in applesauce to get her to take them. She seems to be getting weaker. I am starting to come to realize that she will not be around forever. I know logically that she will not live forever but somehow in my mind I have made her immortal and I am kind of just starting to think that the end is not all that far off. That is a very difficult thing to admit. That is enough talking about that.
     I am going to get off here. Have a good day.

                                                 April Whitehair

Monday, January 6, 2014

January 6, 2014

     Good morning. We had rain last night that turned into snow with very cold temperatures. All schools in the area are closed so the new girl that I hired is unable to come hang out with Mom today. With this weather I wouldn't want to go out in it either.
     Mom seems to be progressing in this Alzheimer's day by day. I have been unable to get her to walk. I say walk and she looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language and sometimes when she does understand to walk she will try to sit down when she isn't in a good location to sit. We have been using the wheelchair most days now, it is just safer. I borrowed the wheelchair we are using when Mom got out of the hospital from breaking her hip, I think we have had it long enough and have a call in to the doctor to get her one of her very own so we can return this borrowed one. Thanks cousin J for letting us use it for so long.
     Cousin T came down and stayed with Mom yesterday to make up for Thursday when she called off. So my husband and I were finally able to go out to eat to celebrate his birthday. We went early in the day so we got breakfast at Denny's, of course we both ate way to much. Then we went to Walmart wanting to buy a screen protector for my new tablet and a case/shell for my husbands new phone that we got for Christmas. But what we saw was that if you don't have an iPhone or an iPad then you don't matter to Walmart. Even in the section labeled tablets there was nothing but iPad accessories. Quite a disappointing shopping trip.
     I bought a pineapple and cut it up and put it in the dehydrator. Now we have dehydrated pineapple. I am not sure about it, they seem sticky. I am afraid that when I put them in a container to store them they will all stick together. Maybe I need to dust them with sugar that would make them taste sweeter anyways.
     I got four seed catalogs in the mail one day. I am sure the mail man has now realized that I am seed crazy, just a little bit. I found three seed companies that are GMO free, the fourth catalog soon met the trash can. I don't really need to buy any more seeds because I am a member of a seed club that sends me seeds every month but I love to look at all the different seeds. All three of the catalog companies that I have are like Mom and Pop companies, small family companies. I love a quote that I found in one of the catalogs, "Seeds need to be treasured and preserved-not patented, genetically modified and controlled by the world's most unethical chemical corporations who see seeds as only a means of control and profit." Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds.
     I need to get this day going. Have a good day.

                                                         April Whitehair

Friday, January 3, 2014

January 3, 2014

     Good morning or I should say good afternoon. I slept in this morning. Oops! But Mom must not have minded to much she wasn't yelling or anything. She actually seems to be in a better mood this morning than she has been in a while. I didn't even have to argue with her to take her medicine.
     Yesterday I was suppose to have help with Mom but she had to call off. Not a good day to call off. Yesterday was my husbands birthday. He always seems to get the short end of the stick. We made the best of it as we could. He had cake and got his present but he also had to work a twelve hour shift the night before and last night. I hope we can go out this weekend and do something to make up for his lousy birthday.
      I have decided to hire additional help. I talked to a girl, an old friend who is in need of a job, about coming in and helping me with Mom a couple days a week. I am having trouble dealing mentally with Mom's disease progression. When the other lady who comes in here to help two days a week calls off that leaves me with only one day a week with help, I just can't handle that. Plus when I have made plans to get out of this house and get away for a few hours and those plans change and I am stuck here I just fall apart. I had to do something and the only thing I could think of was hire additional help so that I know that hopefully I will have reinforcements here more often. We shall see how this all works out.
      Have a good day.

                                                          April Whitehair

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

January 1, 2014

     Good morning. Yet another day feeling bad. We did go to my sister A's party last night and I think I did a good job pretending to feel good but by the time I got home I was dead on my feet. We had a good time at the party. My husband had to leave early to go to work so I didn't get my midnight kiss. I am so thankful for having such a good family. When it was time to leave I think every man and boy at the party was helping get Mom to my car for me. One nice strong young man carried her down the steps. I don't know what I would do without a family like mine.
     With it being a new year I guess now would be the time to make some changes. I have decided to cut back on this blog and write only three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. My life is way to boring to write six days a week. Plus if at anytime there is something special to write about I can write an extra post.  I write this blog mainly as a remembrance blog for myself so I can look back at someday and I also write it so that family and friends near and far can keep up on how Mom is doing and I think I can do those two things good enough with writing only three times a week.
     I need to get off here. I am hoping Mom will let me take a nap. Have a good, safe, blessed and happy new year.

                                               April Whitehair