Saturday, August 31, 2013

August 31, 2013

     Good morning. I am at home, but Mom is still in the hospital. My sister was able to find help watching her kids so she could come up and spent the night with Mom. I am very thankful to have help with her and very happy to get to sleep in my own bed. I miss her when I am away. On the drive home I got a very painful shooting pain in my left hip, crazy I know but I felt that Mom's hip was hurting her and I was feeling her pain. It made me cry that I wasn't there to help her and protect her. I know she is getting lots of love and attention from my sister and she would keep her safe no matter what. I just worry a lot.
     I was able to get some much needed information yesterday. Someone, an occupational therapist (OT), actually talked to me, truthfully. Which is what I needed most, to be talked to by a real person, told things in plain language and to be brutally honest with me. And she actually listened to me. New estimated day of discharge is Wednesday. This makes me so happy, to get her home sooner than we had originally thought.
     This is what I learned from the OT, due to Mom's Alzheimer's she is not able to learn new things like walking with a walker. So there is no need to concentrate on that aspect of rehab. She needs time to heal from the break and surgery. Then when properly healed and pain is under control she will be able to walk again, hopefully. As long as we work with her doing exercises, range of motion and building strength. All these things we can do at home. We will have a physical therapist come to the house and work with her and we will be taught the exercises we need to do with her to help her get better. Also my past as a nurse and working in the rehab department of a nursing home will help get her home sooner than later. I had already purchased a shower chair and my sister got Mom a potty chair months ago. We also have been using a hospital bed for a while now at home. All we will need is a ramp to get up to the porch, which is being installed by my brother-in-law with the help of my husband on Monday, and a wheelchair, which I think should be supplied through insurance, if not I will find one before we come home.
     We can do everything at home that they are doing at the hospital. Plus she would be in her own home, her own environment where she will be hopefully be more comfortable, less confused, and happier. She will get to be with her little dog that she loves so much and misses like crazy. Today my husband is bring Lucky, Mom's dog, to the hospital and I will get her up in a wheelchair and take her outside so they can spend some time together. Another rule of that area in the hospital that Mom is in that I will be breaking. They say I am not allowed to take her outside. I so hate that place. I can't wait to get her home.
     I need to go get started on getting this house and her room ready for her to come home. Have a good day.

                                                                         April Whitehair  

Friday, August 30, 2013

August 30, 2013

     Good morning. Mom was able to walk to the shower and back with one person assisting her yesterday. She had a shower and was doing very well. That is until she was transferred to a new room, in the UTCC, a transitional care area of the hospital. She will be getting physical therapy twice a day. And hopefully be going home soon. The room change made her very confused. And I quite frankly did not like being here. It is such a change from being in the regular part of the hospital. But like my brother-in-law said as he was trying to calm me down last night, I think we had gotten spoiled by the staff where we were. They were truly exceptional, very caring, kind, and understanding. We have moved to a place in the hospital that is more like a nursing home than hospital. I was very disappointed in the service and the care given. I also disagree with some of their rules. I did however like the physical therapist, she seemed nice and understanding. One thing here that I did not like at first has actually turned out good for us. She is in the last room, I am concerned that no one will be passing by and looking in on her but this negative is a positive at night because it is very quiet, no one passes by making noise. We both slept very well. So I guess with every negative there is a positive. I just need to calm down and deal better with change. I was very upset last night, now I think I may have been over stressed and overreacted. Now with sleep I think I feel better. We shall see how today goes.
     Have a good day.

                                                             April Whitehair     

Thursday, August 29, 2013

August 29, 2013

     Good morning. We are still at the hospital. I have noticed something crazy, when I am at home I feel sick, I have a headache, I am on the edge of  tears, I have trouble sleeping, I could bite off my poor husband's head for making any sound, and I am just an all around grump. But when I walk in Mom's hospital room and see her, safe, smiling about something, bright eyed and doing well all my problems just disappear. All I can think of is 'look how well she looks.' I am right next to her if she needs anything. I am right where I am suppose to be. Then as morning nears and it is time for me to leave and my sister to take over I get all stressed again. It is like I am leaving a part of me here. I know that she is being very, very well taken care of. My sister does a better job with her than I do. And my brother-in-law is wonderful with her. And I know she is safe. I still have great anxiety issues with leaving her. I haven't done enough. I haven't made her all better. Why isn't she sitting next to me in my car on the ride home? When I get home and Mom's little dog is waiting inside all excited then I walk through the door with out his Mommy it just breaks his heart and mine. I am so sorry Lucky! My husband wants to bring him up to visit Mom this weekend, she has been able to go outside in the wheelchair for fresh air with my sister during the day. So hopefully this weekend we can surprise her with a special visitor while she is outside. I hope it makes her happy. It will definitely make Lucky happy to see her. 
     I must go tend to Mom. She is hungry and its not time for breakfast trays. Graham crackers and peanut butter, grapes, and milk is what I will get ready for her. Last night I got her a piece of pecan pie and she loved it. Her doctor is less concerned about what she eats than if she eats. We were told to feed her anything she wanted just as long as she ate. And she seems to be getting her appetite back.
     Have a good day.

                                                                     April Whitehair 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

August 28, 2013

     Good morning. I am still on this roller coaster of Mom's hospital stay. Everyday brings something good and something bad. Everyday I smile a little and cry a little. I left the hospital crying yesterday because she didn't do very well in therapy but when I returned to the hospital they said she had done great and would hopefully be moved to the rehab area of the hospital today. Which is our goal, get her in rehab so she can learn to walk so I can take her home soon.
     Oh how great it would be to be home again. I have a garden that I am missing growing. And lettuce that has probably already went to seed and have been blown away. Oh well seeds, pumpkins, and gourds are not as important as Mom. Plus there are some things I would like to do around the house to get it ready for her to come home. My poor husband will have a long honey do list soon. He is already keeping things going at home. Taking care of the animals and laundry. Now if I can just get him to learn to use the dishwasher... He is such a great support to me. I don't know what I would do without him.
     Have a good day.

                                                             April Whitehair

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

August 27, 2013

     Good morning. Yes we are still at the hospital, we will be here probably around 3 weeks. Most of that time will be spent in the rehab department, trying to get Mom walking again. She took 5 steps for physical therapy yesterday. She is having a lot of pain when trying to walk and move around. Hopefully she gets better and stronger each day.
     She actually slept last night, this is after 2 full days and nights being awake. They had to give her blood due to low hemoglobin levels. And they gave her a Benadryl because they said that getting blood makes you itch sometimes. Well she never complained about itching all she has done is sleep except when she wakes up to tell me she wants to go home. I hope this good night of rest will help her be refreshed and ready for physical therapy today.
     Well I am going to go. Have a good day.

                                                                     April Whitehair

Monday, August 26, 2013

August 26, 2013

     Good morning. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I am very positive and sure things will be ok one minute then I will feel like she will never recover the next. I think I am expecting to much to soon. Mom just had her surgery the day before yesterday. Right? I keep getting the days mixed up. They got her up and walked a few steps to the chair yesterday, then walked back to bed, then up a couple of times to the potty chair. They all say she is doing good for just having surgery so soon ago. It hurts her quite a bit but she does it. Then last night I fell asleep around midnight and Mom somehow climbed over the bed rail to go to the potty the nurse seen her and ran in to help her, that's when I woke up. I may never sleep again. And I didn't. Mostly because she would yell for me every 20 minutes to use the bed pan. She is on iv fluids and it keeps her going, constantly. She didn't sleep a wink, even after a 3 am dose of Morphine. She will tire out soon and probably be to sleepy to do a good job at her therapy session today. My sister will be coming in to be with Mom today and I hope they have a good day and have a positive report for me when I get back.
     Change of subject for a little bit. I got my second set of seeds from the seed of the month club. Yeah! I got Parsnips, Kale, Melon, and Zucchini. Those are all new to me. I have never grew any of those before and I don't think I have ever ate parsnips. My garden next year will be an adventure that's for sure. I miss my garden, even though there wasn't much of it left. I do have several birdhouse gourds growing and a couple pumpkins. I will check on them when I get home today.
     I am going to go. Have a good day.

                                                                      April Whitehair

Sunday, August 25, 2013

August 25, 2013

     Good morning. Mom's surgery went well yesterday. They were able to use the pin to fix to break instead of having to do the hip replacement. The doctors are very positive about her recovery. If she tries really hard to get up and moving she will hopefully be accepted in to rehab and get back somewhat to her old self. I was able to go home shortly after she returned to her room and we seen she was ok. My sister and her husband is staying with her until I get back this morning. I talked to them last night and they said she was doing great.  I was able to sleep last night. And I slept. I haven't slept that well in years.
     Yesterday was my birthday. My sister and her husband got me a gift card to IHOP and my husband and I went to breakfast to celebrate my birthday. While waiting when Mom was in surgery my family went to get lunch and they sung Happy Birthday to me in the lunch room. Thank goodness there wasn't many people in there or I would have been really embarrassed.  I got my canner! Though I won't be able to try it for a while, I opened it and looked at it and am very excited to use it. I am now reading the book that came with it so I will know how to use it when I get the chance.
     I am running behind already this morning. I should be on the road to the hospital. I will get there soon enough. I hope that Mom does well with her therapy. Today she should be getting out of bed and up in a chair.
     Thank you everyone who said prayers for her. We will need them to keep coming to help her get through the therapy she will need. Have a good day.

                                                                     April Whitehair

Saturday, August 24, 2013

August 24, 2013 Birthday Wish : I wish that Mom's hip was not broken!

     Oh how your life can change in an instant. Yesterday after Mom got ready to go to my sister's for her mini vacation, she wanted to take her dog for one last walk before leaving him for the weekend. I let her walk him by herself while I sat on the front porch and watched. She wasn't even 50 feet from the house and she fell in the middle of the road. I ran to her. She was in pain. All she would tell me is it hurts all over. I got her to lay down on her back and tried to straighten out her legs and the right was ok but when I tried to straighten out the left she grabbed her hip and screamed. We live in the country. I have neighbors that all know Mom. But no one could hear me yell for help. I was afraid to leave her laying there in the road alone to go get help. So I just yelled and yelled. I am not sure how long I yelled for but I was about to loose my voice when a friend of my neighbors two doors up pulled in to her driveway. So I kept yelling hoping she would hear me as she walked from the car to the house. And thank God she did. Within seconds we had help running for us. I just love those girls and their caring hearts. I was so strong when it was just me and Mom sitting there alone in the road but as soon as I seen those girls coming I broke down and started to cry. 911 was called. Then it seemed that the whole road was full of friends and family. My cousin rode with her to the hospital. I called my sisters and husband, and got the house closed up and her dog put up. Then off to the hospital to sit and wait. After many tests and lots of tears the results came. Broken hip and a possible pelvic fracture. Surgery will be here in a couple of hours.
     I have lots of guilt. I am responsible for her. I should have protected her better. I should have done a lot of things differently and better. But I do realize realistically that there was probably very little I could have done to change the situation. I could have walked with her but I probably would have been in front or behind her or on the wrong side and couldn't have caught her anyway. And to those that say (and I know that there is) I should not have been letting her walk anyway, all I can say is that it was my decision a long time ago to never take away her right to walk and talk, period. As long as she was able to do those things she would be allowed to do those as much as she wanted. She has very limited independence as it is. She has very little enjoyment in her life. And if she wanted to walk her little dog she damn well could anytime she wanted!
    Now I am fearful that she may never have the chance again to walk her little dog.
     I must go. I have a very long stressful day ahead of me. And I have slept about 20 minutes. I am going to go kick back and try to nap one last time before family starts to show up for the surgery.
     Oh and by the way it is my birthday. Whatever, doesn't matter anyway. Please say lots of prayers for Mom and all of us.

                                                               April Whitehair     

Friday, August 23, 2013

August 23, 2013

     Good morning. Today is going to be a busy day for me. My Mom is getting to go spend a couple nights with my sister and her husband. Yeah!!! That means a vacation for me and my husband, a much needed vacation. But before she leaves I have a lot of work to do. I have to get her bathed, dressed, and packed (which I did most of yesterday). Then after she leaves I plan on cleaning her bedroom, which is something I can't do while she is here, and it is a mess. I will be working on cleaning all evening.
     But Saturday will be a good day for us. A whole day alone just the two of us doing anything we want to do. And most important it's my birthday! I know I am not a little kid anymore but birthdays are special to me. It is my special day. We don't have any real plans. I told my husband that if he wanted to take me out to eat anywhere I wanted to go to Hardees. I know not a very fancy place for a birthday meal but I love there super bacon cheeseburger. I had one the other day when I went grocery shopping and I can't get it out of my head. I love bacon, not to mention the curly fries. I am not big on going to more expensive places, Hardees is expensive enough. Though I have had my eye on the cherries and cream topped waffles at IHOP. And we were talking about going to the flea market maybe on Saturday. Maybe we can go to IHOP for breakfast then flea market and some yard sales then Hardees for lunch then home for a relaxing evening. Sounds good to me.
     Well I need to go get Mom up and ready for her vacation from me. Have a good day.

                                                            April Whitehair 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

August 22, 2013

     Good morning. Boy I sure did sleep in this morning. We so need a new mattress, it is killing my back. Maybe that will be something we get ourselves for Christmas. And Christmas really isn't that far off.
     The garden is winding down. Tomatoes are done, cucumber vines are dying, bell pepper plants never did produce, probably one last harvest from the banana peppers, and sunflowers are dying. I am getting a lot of sunflower seeds. I wish they were not just decorative. I have decided that next year I will be growing some eatable sunflowers. If they grow as good as these do I will have lots and lots with in a couple of years. I am trying to decide between food or oil sunflowers. I may just try both.
The gourd and pumpkin plants have several babies. I am concerned that I started them a little to late. I just want a jack-o-lantern for Halloween. The lettuce has started to bloom, I will be collecting seeds soon.
     With me collecting so many seeds I need small paper envelopes. I didn't want to spend money, so I made my own with things I have on hand. Card stock and glue, held in place with clothes pins till the glue dried. They look ok, nothing fabulous but they don't need to be pretty to hold seeds. With all the seeds I think my garden will be huge next year. Or as big as I have land to grow on, which isn't much. I will be researching different ways to grow on small amount of land. Like growing in pots on the porch.
     I need to go get something done today. Have a good day.

                                                            April Whitehair

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

August 21, 2013 County Fair

     Good morning. I had such a good time last night. My husband took me out on a date to our county fair. I really wanted to go see the livestock show. Well I really just wanted to see the goats and chickens. I did get to see goats and chickens but I also got to see sheep, cows, rabbits, turkeys, and pigs. I so love seeing all the animals and petting all the little ones. There was a certain little all brown goat the my husband liked, he kept going back and petting him. I think he might be coming around to the idea of getting a goat. I told him we could get a goat that looks just like that one in the spring. He said 'Well we need to start getting stuff to feed him." I think it sounds like we may be getting a goat! He picked out some chickens that he liked. He had said he wanted the Rhode Island Red kind, but last night he picked the all black ones. I don't know what breed they were, I will be looking into it. I don't care what kind of chickens or goats that I get as long as I get them. But I would prefer a smaller goat, a dwarf variety. My aunt/neighbor likes the Nigerian dwarf kind, so I have look into those and I think I agree with her.
     Another thing that I wanted to see while at the fair was the quilts. I was disappointed at the amount of quilts this year. there had seemed to be lots of entries in the quilting contest in the past. This year I think there was maybe around 15. And most if not all were done on a machine. I prefer the hand made ones. There was other contests like canned foods, photography, garden goodies, and science projects. And I am sure there was other stuff also, I just can't remember everything. I enjoyed reading the poster on the science fair project about the goats. It listed everything you needed to know about raising and owning goats. I don't remember who's entry it was but good job. I also liked the entries for trapping with their furs, fox fur is so soft.
     No trip to a county fair is complete without a funnel cake. We found a new take on funnel cake there last night. It was called birthday cake funnel cake. It had the usual funnel cake and powdered sugar but it also had pink cake icing drizzled on top and sprinkles. It was awesome! It was definitely worth the astronomical price.
     A special thanks to my sister and her kids for hanging out with Mom while we were gone. Though we were only gone about 2 hours, it was definitely worth it. Sometimes we just need to get away.
     I have a busy day to get to. Have a good day.

                                                               April Whitehair

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

August 20, 2013

     Good morning. Well not so good here. This morning I made Mom and me each a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal, then set down to eat it and guess what was swimming around in the milk? Yep, ants! OMG! Two boxes of cereal in the trash and cabinet sprayed down with ant killer. I had just washed out that cabinet the other day. At least I caught it before we had a mouth full of ants.
     I got the grocery shopping done last night. I wonder what everyone else spends on groceries every month. I use coupons and shoppers rewards cards and chose the cheaper brand but I still feel like I spend way to much money. Food is so expensive. But it is something you just can't do without.
     Plan for today is to get some laundry done. Where does all this laundry come from? Have a good day.

                                                             April Whitehair

Monday, August 19, 2013

August 19, 2013

     Good morning. Mom is driving me crazy this morning. Anytime I try to do anything she asks me what I am doing. If I am cleaning up something she will start crying and say she is sorry she made a mess. I so just want to say stop crying and stop making messes, but instead I just go hide in my room. I am going to have to get out of this room sometime today. I am planning on cleaning the refrigerator and freezer out and going grocery shopping this evening. I am sure Mom will be under foot the whole time.
     I just have to keep reminding myself that when I was a kid I am sure that I made many messes that Mom had to clean up and I am sure that I was in her way when she was trying to clean many times. Only twice in my childhood did I ever see her upset with me, that I can remember. Once when I was just 'helping' her by cleaning a small area of the wall in the kitchen which created a very noticeable clean spot and she had to clean the rest of the walls during a very busy time of the year. Second when I spit in my sister's hair, which was the only time I was ever spanked, well it was actually just a pat on the but with an angry look. My parents didn't believe in spanking. If I made Mom upset, sad, or disappointed her in any way was worse punishment than any spanking I could have ever received.
    I am going to go try to get something accomplished today. Have a good day.

                                                                 April Whitehair

Sunday, August 18, 2013

August 18, 2013

     Good morning. Yes I am up early. I have church this morning. Muffins just out of the oven and coffee in hand. Rainy outside so no garden check this morning. Yesterday evening's check was good. Another baby pumpkin found, several sunflower seed heads removed, and the baby birdhouse gourds are doing well. The lettuce has finally started to flower so soon I will be able to collect seeds. I stole one of my sister's heirloom tomatoes. Which I seeded to save them for next year. I am doing the fermentation method. I may try to get another one and just rinse and dry those seeds to see next year which way works best.
     So yesterday I wrote 'feed' instead of 'fed' my husband told me. Sorry. I am a horrible speller. He is usually home when I write each morning and I can ask him how to spell things, I also use a dictionary frequently and spell check. Spelling was always my worst subject in school and I haven't gotten any better with age.
     Well I must go get ready for church. Have a good day.

                                                              April Whitehair

Saturday, August 17, 2013

August 17, 2013

     Good morning. So I have been working on trying to finish cleaning out the chicken coop. I need to finish digging out all the excess dirt on the floor. It is a bigger job than I had imagined. But I think if I do a little each day eventually it will get done. I have been researching what kind of chickens I want. I believe I would like Rhode Island Red chickens. They tolerate the cold a little better than some of the others. Plus that is the kind that my husband said he wanted. I first have to get the coop finished before I can get chickens.
     Mom has been doing ok the last couple of days. Ok can seem like a very broad term. I don't know what else to say. Every day, every hour, every minute she is different. I never know from one minute to the next what she will be like or what will be on her mind. She has difficulty now in telling me what she is thinking. It is hard for her to put her thoughts into words. All I can do is make sure she is clean, feed, safe, and takes her medicine. I feeling that my life so far has been training me for this. I can see how different stages and things in my past was trying to prepare me for this time in my life. Though I didn't see it at that time, now I can see how it all relates to the daily actions of my life today. Everything we go through prepare us for our future. I just wonder what this time in my life is preparing me for.
     Have a good day.

                                                         April Whitehair

Friday, August 16, 2013

August 16, 2013 Seasons

     Good morning. I am feeling better today than I was yesterday. I must stop feeling sorry for myself and get moving. I got several things done yesterday. I have been doing a bit of fall cleaning, kind of like spring cleaning. I know it is not fall just yet but it has felt like it lately. And fall is my favorite time of the year. I am looking forward to it very much this year. I love the change in the colors of the leaves and the natural beauty of the world around me. Most people I know feel that spring is the best time of the year and I can admit that it is nice to see the new blooms of tulips after a long hard cold winter. But for me the fall is best. A nice cooling period after a long hot sticky summer. A relaxing time to set on the front porch swing and sip ice tea or take a walk and soak up all the colors the mountains can come up with. I see natural life at its grandest. In the spring you see the first days of life, the first buds on the trees, the first blooms of all kinds of pretty things. In the fall I see last flourish of life. one last chance for leaves to shine, to show them selves off before the world, for the trees to say hey look at me, here I am, I am beautiful, all the while knowing that soon it will sleep, soon it will hide away its beauty, awaiting it's time to shine again. Seasons of life, seasons of nature. All are a magnificent creation of God. After winter, spring; after death, heaven. Maybe there is something to that spring time that is good. Hum now I need to think.
     Have a good day.

                                                       April Whitehair 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

August 15, 2013

     Good morning. Well it is the first day of school for the kids in the area. Facebook is full of first day pictures and proud parents. I may just stay hidden in my bedroom all day. You would think that after all these years I would be over this. I guess I just got to get up and get moving and put these thoughts out of my mind. I really need to do some grocery shopping. I may actually get up, get dressed, and get out of the house. A quick trip to the IGA may be just what I need.
      I have lots of cleaning and laundry to do. Enough on my to do list to keep me busy. Now just to get rid of this depressed feeling and back in the right frame of mind. I always feel better when I get outside and enjoy the beauty of the nature.
     I shall stop writing and get out of this house. Have a good day.

                                                                          April Whitehair

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

August 14, 2013

     Good morning. Yesterday was quite uneventful. Just normal cleaning and laundry. Last night Mom's Alzheimer's was in full swing. She took all her clothes out of one of her dresser drawers and some out of the closet. Not sure what she was trying to do and she was unable to tell me. She said she was unable to think of the words. She slept maybe two hours. I ended up sleeping on the couch again, I just feel safer sleeping closer to her, so I can hear what she is up to.
     Prepper shows were on last night. I just love watching those shows. I think sometimes I like to watch them with my husband so I can show him that I am not as bad as some of those folks. I think they go overboard. Plans for the what if event is good, living your whole life, spending all your money planning for the what if is bad. I don't understand buying a lot of MRE's and large amounts of bulk food. I do agree that you should buy and have on hand things that you would regularly use. And rotate that stock and replace as you use. I know that if those prepper people from that show would come to my house they would think I had nothing in regards to prepper items. But to me I am doing ok. I believe that I can keep my household of three alive for about a month. Now that means eating a lot less than we would normally do. Probably eating only once a day. Yes we would actually hear our stomachs growling but we would not starve. I don't have a lot of water stored but I have the ability to catch rain water and I have a natural spring close by. I am probably the most lacking in the medical area. I have about a total of four bandages on hand and about half a bottle of rubbing alcohol. There are always areas to improve.
     On the show last night there was a woman who was against the use of weapons for self protection. What? I do understand that there is a religious belief behind that thought process. I will do what I can to protect my family. This woman on the show has a large camp ground, a lot of stored food, stored water, and a lot of people that are planning on relying on her. Umm I hate to say it but all her stuff will be taken from her during an event of difficult times. And it will be taken without much force. I also have a feeling that the people who have a lot of stuff and weapons will be one of the first targets for our own government. And now that they have advertised themselves on tv they will be easy to find and easy targets for common folk.
     I believe that there is a balance between having nothing and being naive to the world around you and having way to much and being overly prepared. Both will get you killed. Both presents dangers of there own. Finding the balance is my goal. And helping others think about the what ifs not only helps others but also helps me by having others prepared close to me.  
     I must go for now. Mom is needing my attention. Have a good day.

                                                                        April Whitehair

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

August 13, 2013 Flighty.

     Good morning. Headache still here. I had it all day yesterday but did not say anything after writing about it in yesterday's post. I hate that sometimes it seems that all I do is complain. And my poor husband has to hear it all the time. I was able to get some stuff done. With the help of my husband, nephew, and one of his friends we were able to get the junk out of the old chicken coop. With being able to see more of the walls and the damage I realize that it would take a lot of work to completely update it. So I am just thinking of doing temporary damage control. I need to shovel out about a foot of old dirt and decomposed junk. I would love to find some chickens now or soon but with the egg production time lasting about two years I am afraid that if I buy a chicken off someone then I would be buying an old chicken. People are shady like that. So I guess I will probably have to wait till spring and raise some babies.
     We were talking to my sister last night and we were discussing that I want chickens and goats and bees and on and on. My sister said that it is in my DNA, my dad and one of my uncles use to do the same thing. I get all excited about doing something then after I do it for a while I get tired of doing it and want to do something else. My husband called me flighty. I am not sure that I agree with being flighty, I just get excited to do something, anything. I seem to have come to the realization that after Mom dies then I am next. I tried to talk to my husband about my feelings and all he said was that that is true for anyone. I guess it is but it seems that all my friends and sisters have other things going on in their lives. I guess it boils down to the fact that they have children and I don't. They have things to look forward to, I have death. They have children to raise and get through school, graduation, children to help with planning weddings for, and grand babies to look forward to. Me I have death. I will not have any of those activities to look forward to. So what do I do to help me live a fulfilled life? Now my thoughts stop, I can't answer that question. I am grasping at straws. I guess I will continue to look into new ways to find fulfillment. Everyday is a gift. My gift may not look like everyone else's. But it is special because it is mine and God chose me to live it.
     Have a good day.

                                                             April Whitehair 

Monday, August 12, 2013

August 12, 2013

     Good morning. I was awake earlier but I had a headache again so I went back to sleep. I am up now with only a slight headache. Since I have been keeping this blog I notice that I have more headaches than I thought that I did. I think I may need glasses, at least that is what my husband says, me I don't want glasses so I will just suffer for a while.
     So I took my husband out and showed him the old chicken coop to get his verdict on if we should  use it or not. I was able to remove a lot of the small stuff so we could look at the walls. I don't think he could see my vision and sometimes it is hard for us to communicate our differing views so that the other can understand what we are saying. Anyway, I was thinking of replacing several of the cross ties to shore it up. But my husband made me think about only doing a temporary fix because I may not like keeping chickens and it would be a waist of time and money to fix it like I was thinking. I walked away from the coop yesterday feeling a little down and disappointed in his response to my ideas. I wake up this morning to find my husband had already been out there and removed the heavy stuff that I couldn't get by myself. Even if he doesn't see or agree with my vision he is willing to help me with it. Good guy, he deserves a pat on his back.
     Well if I am going to get this chicken coop started I need to get busy. Have a good day.

                                                            April Whitehair  

Sunday, August 11, 2013

August 11, 2013

     Good morning. I actually slept last night. With my husband off work today he took over answering the knock at the door by Mom in the middle of the night. I got myself a good husband, I think he is a keeper.
     I have been thinking about where to keep the chickens I plan on getting. I have decided that if the old cross tie building that at one time was used as a chicken coop is worth saving I will try to fix it back up and use it. My Dad had chickens in that coop at one time but since he stopped keeping  chickens the building was used as a junk storage. Well the building is not in the best of shape. Some of the cross ties need to be replaced but I think it is fixable. I spent yesterday pulling out some the junk. I just wanted enough stuff out so I could get a good look at the walls to see how bad they actually were. Today I will show my husband and let him decide if he thinks it will be worth saving. I really hope he thinks it will be worth fixing. I hate to see that old building waste away and be useless when it could be used for something good. It will take a lot of work. It also needs a new roof. I may be getting in over my head.
     Last night we went to my cousin's house for a back to school hot dog roast for the kids from the church and the community. We have such a good time when we all get together. A lot of laughs. Mom likes to get out of the house and my husband was able to stop by after he got off work. We ate and laughed. The kids start back to school so early this year. I don't understand their reasoning for it.
     Well today is church day, I must go get ready. I will have a busy day trying to talk my husband into seeing my vision for the chicken coop. Have a good day.

                                                                 April Whitehair 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

August 10, 2013 I may never sleep again.

     Good morning. Wow what a night. I have realized that I may never sleep again. Or at least never sleep the same again. At midnight I was almost asleep and Mom knocked at my bedroom door. As soon as I opened the door I could smell it, yep she had the gas stove burners on without flame. The house was full of gas. Plus the faucets were on and the fridge was open. Not sure what she was trying to do. It took an hour to air out the house. And now we no longer have knobs on the stove. And that is why I may never sleep again.
     Garden looks good this morning. I was able to pick several sunflowers for seed and set them out to dry. And I also noticed more baby birdhouse gourds and pumpkins, now that I know what I am looking for. I showed my husband the baby pumpkin last night I think he was happy but not as excited as I was. With them starting so late I think they will be just the right size for jack-o-lanterns come Halloween.
     Well I must go and do something. Not sure what but I am sure I can find something that needs cleaned. Have a good day.

                                                                 April Whitehair

Friday, August 9, 2013

August 9, 2013

     Good morning. I am just waking up. Mom kept me up all night. She definitely has sun downers. And I got to see her first outburst of anger. She threw her urine drenched shorts at me, luckily I am a little quicker then her and was able to duck out the door before she hit me with them. Then it was just one thing after another, all night. I ended up sleeping on the couch so she would stop knocking on the bedroom door and waking my husband up, he had to wake up early this morning to go to work. Once she even let her dog out the front door, not sure why, and he almost got hit by a truck. Well I am awake and she is now napping. Hopefully she will wake up in a better mood.
     Good news this morning from the garden. I finally have a baby birdhouse gourd growing. And there is a tiny baby pumpkin on my husband's pumpkin plant. He will be so happy. My love of gardening grows everyday. And so does my garden.
     I have so much to do. I still am working on the laundry from yesterday. Have a good day.

                                                                               April Whitehair

Thursday, August 8, 2013

August 8, 2013 Linen closet issues again.

     Good morning. A quick walk around the garden showed nothing new. I am most pleased about the sunflowers. I have already collected a few and are drying them for the seeds to use next year. I have been growing and collecting these same flower seeds for years. It is always exciting to see them come up each year.
     Well the linen closet smells bad again. Which is very frustrating to me after all that work I did washing everything. At least I was smart enough to sort out everything that we didn't use on a regular basis and not put those things back in there. So now there is about a quarter of what there was to rewash. I think the odor might be coming from a couple of the small throw blankets that Mom likes. So I will rewash everything separately and box up those blankets and give it some time to see where the smell returns. Looks like a full day of laundry again. I don't think I will ever get anything else done except for laundry.
     Mom's bath day was yesterday. She hates baths. But I think both of us are beginning to accept the new roles we have. I think it is helpful to her that most of the time she doesn't know that I am her daughter. She thinks I am someone here just to help her, which I am, but it seems that me being a stranger bathing her is easier for her to take than her own daughter bathing her.
    Well I am off to start the never ending laundry pile. Have a good day.

                                                       April Whitehair

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

August 7, 2013

    Good morning. I had a bad headache after taking my sister to pick up her new rental minivan. She got an awesome one. I'm sure her kids are enjoying it. Not much planned for today maybe just regular house work and maybe cleaning the front porch. I have a lot of cleaning to catch up on from yesterday. My head still hurts but just a little so I don't plan on pushing it to much.
     If nothing else that garden should be teaching me patience. There is one flower starting on the lettuce, I seem to have been waiting a long time, I am wanting to collect the seeds when ever it makes them. The pumpkin plants have lots of blooms but no pumpkins yet. And same for the bird house gourds. Lots of blooms hopefully means gourds soon. And I have know idea what I did wrong with the bell pepper plants. I have stunted their growth and they will not produce any peppers. You could say live and learn but I don't know what I did wrong so I can't learn from it.
     Chicken coop ideas have been floating around in our heads. We have not decided what we want to do yet. And the longer we think on it the more ideas we come up with. We want cheap and easy. Now to just put our thoughts in to actions. Its really hard to tell what we will decide on. I also have been thinking about getting some goats. Not to sure about that but it is just a thought.
     Well I better go. Have a good day.

                                                        April Whitehair

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

August 6, 2013

     Good morning. Its been a good morning so far. My husband got up and took out the trash and put a roast in the crock pot for dinner. Now he is out trying to play golf before the rain that might come this afternoon. Mom is still asleep, the first full night of sleep for her in two nights, she might have slept 40 minutes total over the last two nights. I forgot to tell you about her pedicure I gave her on Sunday. Well I decided that I would try again to cut her toe nails because they were getting to the point of going to see a podiatrist. So I set up a home pedicure for her. I am not a big fan of cutting nails and messing with other people's feet but sometimes you have to just do things you don't like. Large tub of warm soapy water to soak your feet in sounds good to me, to Mom its torture. By reading online the best ways to soften hard toenails and finding out it basically is just soak for ten to thirty minutes, that was my mission. Once her feet were in the water, her kicked back on the couch, watching a good tv show, soda pop (her favorite) in reach, and her dog sleeping next to her all I heard was yuck, I hate this, why am I doing this, and this is awful. Seriously! I would have loved it. With a lot of encouragement and a little sternness she lasted twenty minutes. Then I kinda tricked her by continuing the soak while rubbing exfoliator all over her feet and lower legs. Which she complained because I got her pant leg a little wet. Will she ever be happy? People pay lots of money for this kind of treatment. After the soak and scrub came time to cut. The big toe nails are the problem, the other toes are no problem. I was able to cut some of the big toe nails off. Not as much as I would have liked. But good enough to hold off the podiatrist visit for now. Then came the good rub down with lotion. I would have liked her to set there with her feet uncovered for a while but she wasn't having that. She never goes with out shoes and socks, ever. I think she needs to go bare foot every once and a while. She has a bad foot odor problem. I tossed out all her old shoes and bought her new ones. She was not happy about that. But I could not continue to let her wear those shoes any longer. She had had many 'accidents' in those shoes and washing them did not help. At some point the health and safety of a person out weighs their independence and wants. This is a difficult concept for me. She don't like her new shoes but they fit and don't smell. But she never likes anything new.  
     Yesterday I got all the laundry done that I wanted to get done. The laundry is never really done. Someone is always changing clothes or taking a shower. I got a call from my sister yesterday and we had a nice conversation on gardening and raising chickens. I love it that there is someone else beginning to think like me in my family. Someone to share ideas with and who doesn't think I am just plain crazy for worrying about gmos and pesticides.
     I have things I would like to get done today. But nothing is going to get done by sitting here and typing. Have a good day.

                                                                 April Whitehair 

Monday, August 5, 2013

August 5, 2013

     Good morning. I am awake and busy already. Clothes hung on the line, waiting for the sun to reach them. My husband made us cinnamon rolls for breakfast. And Mom slept about 20 minutes last night. She wants to go home. The garden made me happy this morning. We have three blooms on the birdhouse gourd plants. They actually bloomed yesterday evening, so from my research if they bloom at night they will be hard shell. I hope that is true because I would like to make birdhouses out of them.
     So I think my husband has gotten into the idea of getting chickens. He has been looking up coops to buy. I think it might be my birthday present. But I told him that we could make one a lot cheaper than buying one. I found a plan on line that I think we are going to try. Neither of us are carpenters but we do try and I think we work together well. If we do actually decide to make one I will keep you posted on our progress.
     I have a lot of cleaning I want to do today. I always seem to have a lot to do but never get much done. Have a good day.

                                                                    April Whitehair

Sunday, August 4, 2013

August 4, 2013 Yard Sale Day

     Good morning. I did not post yesterday. It was city wide yard sale day and I was up and out of the house early and gone all day. So my mission at these yard sales was to look for prepping supplies. Well that didn't really happen. I bought a really nice knick-knack shelf, a couple books, and five cast iron skillets. I am really proud of my purchase of the skillets. I bought five for $30. One of them is really big. Not to sure if I got a good deal or not. But most people I talked to said that I got a good deal. All are free of rust and seasoned well. All but one are Wagner brand, made in the USA.
     It was a rainy day so I think that is why there wasn't more sales set up. The church yard sale was good. We were set up inside. Mom went with me. It was difficult for her to be there all day. And it was frustrating for me. I pray almost constantly for patience. I get tired of constantly repeating myself. But I am so lucky that the other woman working at the church yard sale was so patient and understanding. I try to learn from her.
     Today is church day and I must go get ready. I have already seen my uncle go past on his way to church. Have a good day.

                                                                  April Whitehair

Friday, August 2, 2013

August 2, 2013

     Good morning. Yesterday we went to help set up for the church yard sale. There is a lot of stuff. My church has been having yard sales for as long as I can remember. It helps support the finances of the church and also provides low cost good quality clothing and other products to the community. Usually we have the yard sale two to four times a year. It was always a fun and exciting time when I was a kid. Now as an adult I realize how much work, hard work, it is to put on this yard sale. My cousin and niece are there working now and Mom and I will go up around lunch and take there orders and go get them something to eat and give them a chance to take a break. Mom always use to work the sale but now it would be impossible. She was with us yesterday while setting up, it is all way to stressful and confusing to her now. But she does enjoy being out and about with other people and feeling helpful and useful. Everything she seen she wanted. I think when we got home she had bought a doll baby, a wind up musical toy, an angel, and a Christmas tree bulb. When we got home with all her goodies she asked me what she was suppose to do with all that stuff, like I am the one who wanted it all. Oh well if it makes her happy then its all good.
     Seed of the month club update. I got my seeds!!!! Yes it am so happy. It was like getting  a Christmas present in August. I got some seeds that I didn't need or want but it is nice to have any seeds, non-gmo seeds. The seeds I got are radish, carrot, corn salad, beet, lettuce, corn, rhubarb, and mint. Plus every month I will receive four more seed packs. So by next spring I will have several new seeds to plant. To me this is exciting.
     Now I must go get some things done. Have a good day.

                                                              April Whitehair

Thursday, August 1, 2013

August 1, 2013

     Good morning. Wow its August already. This year has went by fast. I got all the laundry done that I had started the other day and now Mom's closet is back to normal. I did something while cleaning out the closet that Mom found strange and you may also. I washed all the hangers. Yep in the kitchen sink with soap and water. Hay, hangers get dirty too. I am pretty sure she thinks I am crazy, maybe I am. All day long all I hear is "I want to go home." All night also. How do I explain to her that she is home. Even when I do and she remembers she forgets it quickly and asks again.
     Yesterday I walked up to my aunt's house and gave her some goodies from the garden. We sat and chatted for about a half an hour. It brought back memories when she lived right next door and I would go over as a kid and sit on her front porch swing and just talk for hours. She said that I looked happy now. That made me think how unhappy I use to look and be all those years before. It was nice to just sit around and have a conversation with someone who could remember the past and not forget what I said two seconds after I said it. She is a special person to me. I will have to make it a point to go up and visit more often.
     So I did it. I sighed up for that seed of the month club I wrote about the other day. And if what everyone else who posted said is right, I should be getting my first set of seeds today. I am so excited. Like a kid on Christmas eve. My husband and I have talked about what to do with the seeds I get. If I get seeds for some things that we don't like I will try to start only a few of the seeds and keep the extras for a seed store (prepper style). Then grow the few that I will start to learn how and collect the seeds and save them for my 'seed store' . This all I will keep an account of and be able to have information on hand on the growing and saving of these seeds if ever needed. FYI seed store prepper style is actually just a can you store seeds in. Not an actual store where you sell things.
     I have to go today help the church set up for the yard sale. I am gone to take Mom, it should be interesting. Oh well what else am I suppose to do with her. Plus this weekend is the city wide yard sale and I want to go. My husband has to work so I guess Mom will be with me. I hope to walk away not spending an arm and a leg. I just love yard sales. Hopefully I can find some good prepper items. Well I have to go and get this day started. Have a good day.

                                                                April Whitehair