Oh how your life can change in an instant. Yesterday after Mom got ready to go to my sister's for her mini vacation, she wanted to take her dog for one last walk before leaving him for the weekend. I let her walk him by herself while I sat on the front porch and watched. She wasn't even 50 feet from the house and she fell in the middle of the road. I ran to her. She was in pain. All she would tell me is it hurts all over. I got her to lay down on her back and tried to straighten out her legs and the right was ok but when I tried to straighten out the left she grabbed her hip and screamed. We live in the country. I have neighbors that all know Mom. But no one could hear me yell for help. I was afraid to leave her laying there in the road alone to go get help. So I just yelled and yelled. I am not sure how long I yelled for but I was about to loose my voice when a friend of my neighbors two doors up pulled in to her driveway. So I kept yelling hoping she would hear me as she walked from the car to the house. And thank God she did. Within seconds we had help running for us. I just love those girls and their caring hearts. I was so strong when it was just me and Mom sitting there alone in the road but as soon as I seen those girls coming I broke down and started to cry. 911 was called. Then it seemed that the whole road was full of friends and family. My cousin rode with her to the hospital. I called my sisters and husband, and got the house closed up and her dog put up. Then off to the hospital to sit and wait. After many tests and lots of tears the results came. Broken hip and a possible pelvic fracture. Surgery will be here in a couple of hours.
I have lots of guilt. I am responsible for her. I should have protected her better. I should have done a lot of things differently and better. But I do realize realistically that there was probably very little I could have done to change the situation. I could have walked with her but I probably would have been in front or behind her or on the wrong side and couldn't have caught her anyway. And to those that say (and I know that there is) I should not have been letting her walk anyway, all I can say is that it was my decision a long time ago to never take away her right to walk and talk, period. As long as she was able to do those things she would be allowed to do those as much as she wanted. She has very limited independence as it is. She has very little enjoyment in her life. And if she wanted to walk her little dog she damn well could anytime she wanted!
Now I am fearful that she may never have the chance again to walk her little dog.
I must go. I have a very long stressful day ahead of me. And I have slept about 20 minutes. I am going to go kick back and try to nap one last time before family starts to show up for the surgery.
Oh and by the way it is my birthday. Whatever, doesn't matter anyway. Please say lots of prayers for Mom and all of us.