Tuesday, August 13, 2013

August 13, 2013 Flighty.

     Good morning. Headache still here. I had it all day yesterday but did not say anything after writing about it in yesterday's post. I hate that sometimes it seems that all I do is complain. And my poor husband has to hear it all the time. I was able to get some stuff done. With the help of my husband, nephew, and one of his friends we were able to get the junk out of the old chicken coop. With being able to see more of the walls and the damage I realize that it would take a lot of work to completely update it. So I am just thinking of doing temporary damage control. I need to shovel out about a foot of old dirt and decomposed junk. I would love to find some chickens now or soon but with the egg production time lasting about two years I am afraid that if I buy a chicken off someone then I would be buying an old chicken. People are shady like that. So I guess I will probably have to wait till spring and raise some babies.
     We were talking to my sister last night and we were discussing that I want chickens and goats and bees and on and on. My sister said that it is in my DNA, my dad and one of my uncles use to do the same thing. I get all excited about doing something then after I do it for a while I get tired of doing it and want to do something else. My husband called me flighty. I am not sure that I agree with being flighty, I just get excited to do something, anything. I seem to have come to the realization that after Mom dies then I am next. I tried to talk to my husband about my feelings and all he said was that that is true for anyone. I guess it is but it seems that all my friends and sisters have other things going on in their lives. I guess it boils down to the fact that they have children and I don't. They have things to look forward to, I have death. They have children to raise and get through school, graduation, children to help with planning weddings for, and grand babies to look forward to. Me I have death. I will not have any of those activities to look forward to. So what do I do to help me live a fulfilled life? Now my thoughts stop, I can't answer that question. I am grasping at straws. I guess I will continue to look into new ways to find fulfillment. Everyday is a gift. My gift may not look like everyone else's. But it is special because it is mine and God chose me to live it.
     Have a good day.

                                                             April Whitehair 

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