Thursday, August 29, 2013

August 29, 2013

     Good morning. We are still at the hospital. I have noticed something crazy, when I am at home I feel sick, I have a headache, I am on the edge of  tears, I have trouble sleeping, I could bite off my poor husband's head for making any sound, and I am just an all around grump. But when I walk in Mom's hospital room and see her, safe, smiling about something, bright eyed and doing well all my problems just disappear. All I can think of is 'look how well she looks.' I am right next to her if she needs anything. I am right where I am suppose to be. Then as morning nears and it is time for me to leave and my sister to take over I get all stressed again. It is like I am leaving a part of me here. I know that she is being very, very well taken care of. My sister does a better job with her than I do. And my brother-in-law is wonderful with her. And I know she is safe. I still have great anxiety issues with leaving her. I haven't done enough. I haven't made her all better. Why isn't she sitting next to me in my car on the ride home? When I get home and Mom's little dog is waiting inside all excited then I walk through the door with out his Mommy it just breaks his heart and mine. I am so sorry Lucky! My husband wants to bring him up to visit Mom this weekend, she has been able to go outside in the wheelchair for fresh air with my sister during the day. So hopefully this weekend we can surprise her with a special visitor while she is outside. I hope it makes her happy. It will definitely make Lucky happy to see her. 
     I must go tend to Mom. She is hungry and its not time for breakfast trays. Graham crackers and peanut butter, grapes, and milk is what I will get ready for her. Last night I got her a piece of pecan pie and she loved it. Her doctor is less concerned about what she eats than if she eats. We were told to feed her anything she wanted just as long as she ate. And she seems to be getting her appetite back.
     Have a good day.

                                                                     April Whitehair 

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