Monday, December 16, 2013

December 16, 2013

     Good morning. It is a snowy, cold day. I am glad that I don't have to go anywhere even though I was sure there was something going on today, like an appointment or something but I guess not because I never got a appointment reminder call. So I thought maybe I was remembering, somehow, that today was my sister A and brother-in-law S's anniversary, I was really proud that I actually remembered their anniversary, but I checked her face book page and it says her anniversary is tomorrow. So now I am really confused, I guess there is nothing going on today. Anyway Happy Anniversary sister A and brother S, just in case I forget to say it tomorrow. I love the both of you and hope you too have many more happy years together.
     I got my seeds in the mail! I got Pepper cubanelle, Dill dukat, Cabbage charleston, Tomato delicious, and Endive broadleaf. I love seeds and every time I see that envelope in the mail box I feel like a kid at Christmas. I really don't know what to do with all these seeds. I will plant a few seeds of each kind and save the rest, I think.
     Mom had been crying some last night and this morning. I ask why she is crying and she says she doesn't know. She is good right now sitting at the kitchen table with me watching tv. She went with us to the church Christmas program on Saturday night. She did so well and I think enjoyed singing Christmas carols and watching the kids on the stage. She also enjoyed eating all the good food after the program.
     The church Christmas program was an interesting emotional experience for me. I decided not to participate or help with the program this year, I have been feeling stressed and didn't want to add to it. Also another big big reason I didn't want to participate was because I hate, hate talking in front of an audience. Even though I know everyone and am family with almost all of them, I still get extremely nervous. I have a hard time reading or just talking, I get all red faced and sweaty. No, I try to avoid speaking to an audience at all costs. But I must say sitting in the back of the room watching and not being apart of the program was very strange. I felt so left out.... I was sitting between my husband and my Mom and doing what I was suppose to do. I helped Mom stand when she needed to and sit when she needed to and find the right page in the song book and follow along when singing. I feel torn between taking care of Mom and being a church member. I just can't find the right balance.
     Another reason the Christmas program was emotional this year was because it was the last year for my niece and the other teens her age. They are seniors and will be adults next year.... There is a large group of teens all the same age as her and they have been such a blessing to the church. They now even bring their boyfriends and girlfriends to church and get them to participate in the program as well. They will all be missed greatly as they spread their wings and fly off to live their own lives. All hopes that they remember their home church and the lessons they have learned there over all those years of Bible school and Christmas programs and Sunday school. I hope they have hid in their hearts the songs and words that will help them when they need them the most. And I hope that they know that no matter how many years and events happen to pass, that they can always come home again to the little country church of their youth and they will always be welcomed with open arms and love that will never cease.

                                                              April Whitehair

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