Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

     It's Mother's Day. First off I want to tell my Mom Happy Mother's Day. She is and always has been the greatest mother. This evening I am having a little get together for her. I made a strawberry rhubarb upside down cake and got her a card. I couldn't find anything to get her as a gift but my husband wants to run to walmart and get her something this morning. We shall see if we can find her anything that she would like. She is hard to shop for. For those of you who don't  know she has Alzheimer's and my husband and I live with her to help her out. She has everything she needs and everything she could want. So maybe we will find her a nice bird feeder or something.
     Other than celebrating Mother's Day for my mom, I avoid anything to do with Mother's Day. I am not a mother. I am unable to have children. And that has been my life long dream and still is today. Even when I was in kindergarten I wrote that I wanted to be a mommy and cowgirl. I still have that paper somewhere.  I don't go to church on Mother's Day and you all know that I love to go to church, but I just cant do it. Maybe 8 or so years ago when I was really struggling with infertility I went to church with my mom and sisters, back then it was really special and important to go to church with my mom on Mother's Day. Well at church they hand out small gifts to mothers, like a flower or something, and everyone and I mean every woman in that church got a gift except me. I was so heartbroken. I am actually crying just remembering it. And my mom, the wonderful woman that she is, she took her gift, it was a flower, and gave it to me. Saying your are a wonderful mother in my eyes,(I had dogs at that time that I treated like my children). God love her. So we walked out of church that day, me with the flower and her with nothing. That is a true mother.
     It's crazy how our roles in life have changed with this Alzheimer's. She has said several times that I am a good mommy to her. Like when I am down on the floor tieing her shoes she will say" I remember tieing your shoes when you were little and now you are doing it for me".
     The day before yesterday she asked me if I was going to get to see my mother on Mother's Day, and I said yes your my mommy and we will have cake and two more of your daughters will come and celebrate with us. All she said to that is that she didn't know she was my mom and got upset because I didn't tell her that before. Damn Alzheimer's give me my mommy back!!!!!
     Yesterday when I sat down to read my bible, I try to read a chapter a day. Sometimes I read more and sometimes I don't read any at all. But yesterday's chapter just happened to be Isaiah 49. And these two verses are in that chapter.   Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands: Isaiah 49:15&16. niv   That will be my comfort today and for many days in the future. Thank you Jesus for giving me comfort in my time of need. Amen
     You all have a great day and love your mothers and children because they are a gift from God.

                                                                         April Whitehair

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